Am I In Or Am I Out?

Fear is something that we have all experienced to a greater or lesser extent. When we allow the fear of making a mistake to paralyze us we miss out on the opportunity to grow. Living life based on fear, breeds discontent. Some people are afraid to fully commit to the relationship that they have because they are constantly on the look out for what they might be missing. They, “what if” themselves to death.

They prevent themselves from creating a truly satisfying relationship by harboring this niggling doubt that maybe there is someone better out there somewhere. Any time things get a little rough in their relationship; they start to wonder if they have made a mistake. Any relationship where partners are only half is going to feel less than perfect.

Rather than endlessly searching for your soul mate, you may want to put your energy into creating a soul-mate relationship. The more you increase the intimate bonds in your relationship, the more you will feel like soul mates. There may be no perfect person for you. But you can build a great relationship despite being less than perfect for each other.

It is time to get down off the fence, what is it that you want out of your relationship? What are you willing to put into your relationship to help that happen? If you want someone who loves you unconditionally, then you must be willing to love unconditionally. If you want respect you must give respect.

Elbert Hubbard said, “The greatest mistake you can make in life is continually to be fearing you will make one.” Being fearless in your relationship isn’t about fighting dragons, it is about conquering self-doubt and self-sabotage. It is about being fully present in the relationship that you have. Become alive to the possibilities.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine