When Your Partner Wants to Lose Weight

You cannot motivate your partner to want to lose weight. The key in weight loss, as with any self-improvement, is that your partner has to decide that s/he wants to do something about his or her weight.

Nagging your partner about his/her weight or making unkind comments about his/her appearance is counterproductive. If you feel you have to speak to your partner about his/her weight, the best way to approach it is from a health perspective. Saying something like, “I love you and I want to grow old with you. I am concerned about your health.”

Your partner knows that s/he has gained weight and s/he doesn’t need to be reminded. What s/he does need is support in dealing the problem. Consider ways that you may unintentionally be contributing to the problem.

Do you show your love with food and treats? When you spend time together, do you go out to eat, or do you do something active? Make you bonding time active time. Try swimming, walking, biking, bowling or tennis. Find some things that you enjoy doing together; get up off the couch and get moving.

Remember that your partner is an adult. It is not your job to monitor what s/he eats and make him/her feel guilty. When you start wagging your finger at your partner, you have turned into “the parent” and nobody enjoys being treated like a child in his or her marriage.

Make sure that there are plenty of healthy snacks available. Baby carrots, celery, cherry tomatoes and fruit make great instant snacks. When healthy snacks are easily available you are both more likely to reach for them.

Most importantly, love and accept your partner as s/he is. Reward his or her positive behaviors and avoid criticizing when s/he slips up. What your partner believes about him or herself has everything to do with his or her ability to maintain a healthy weight. The more you reinforce your partner’s beliefs that s/he is a “fat person,” the more difficult it is going to be for your partner to do anything about his or her weight.

Susan Derry

Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-creator of a Healthy Weight Loss System.

Offers a free report: Weight Loss Myths Exposed