How Well Are You Meeting Your Partner’s Needs?

All of us, as human beings, have basic human needs. In thriving relationships each partner takes responsibility for meeting their own needs and helps their partner meet their needs.

We are each responsible for meeting our own needs and should not be depending on our partner to make us happy, secure or feel good about our self. That said, it is being aware of and make efforts to help our partner get his/her needs met, that helps create a strong lasting relationship.

There is a temptation to focus on how our partner falls short on meeting our needs. However, it is far more productive to work on improving our self first, thereby inviting our partner to change, rather than demanding that they shape up.

Every person has 6 basic human needs. We all need to feel:
• Safe or secure
• Excitement or enjoy variety
• Loved and accepted
• Important
• We are growing or learning
• We are contributing beyond our self

Consider the things that you say to your partner. Consider your behavior toward your partner. Consider the things that you say to others about your partner. How well are you doing at helping your partner meet his/her basic human needs?

How sure is your partner that you are committed to your relationship? Have you gotten into a boring routine or do you do fun things together? What do you say and do to show your love and acceptance for your partner? Does your partner know that you think s/he is important? Are you growing and learning as a couple? Do you have opportunities to serve each other and to serve a greater cause?

The better you can get at each meeting your own needs and helping each other meet needs, the stronger your relationship will be.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine