The Magic That Is Trust

Trust is a paradox; you have trust in order to be trusted. In other words you need to put yourself out there. Make yourself vulnerable; give your partner the opportunity to support you or to destroy you.

Trust comes easy when you are first dating, courting and married. You are always talking to each other, disclosing your ideas, hopes, fears, idiosyncrasies and flaws to each other. The way this works is one of you will be brave and offer a little tidbit to the other and wait and see the outcome. What usually happens is the other feels like, “Okay, if they can tell me that then I can tell them this,” and reveals something back.

As you progress in the relationship you build trust by this process of self-disclosure, each sharing something with the other. This will continue as long as the person receiving does nothing that frightens, harms or scares the other. This by the way is the very same way that you build intimacy, well trusting each other, in and of itself will build intimacy.

Trust is a scared obligation. As the recipient of detailed and intimate information about your partner you have the responsibility to protect and care for that information. Along with the information you now hold their feelings in your power, it is vital to any relationship that you always, and I stress the word always respect, cherish and keep those feelings, especially, and that information to yourself.

Never use anything you have been given in trust as ammunition in fights, never belittle or make fun of it or them. Always treat the hopes, dreams and fears of your loved ones as sacredly as you would your own.

Being trustworthy is the hallmark of maturity. It is one of life’s most rewarding qualities. When your partner trusts you, they will be drawn closer and closer to you. Your level of intimacy in the relationship will escalate and your love will flourish and grow until you feel it in everything you do together.


Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine