Sharing in Relationships

In relationships there are many times when we can do things together. In fact, what usually determines the health of the relationship is how much the partners do share with each other.

Sharing is exactly what is says, sharing our lives with another. There are various elements to sharing; physical sharing and intimacy, sexual contact; emotional sharing or intimacy, feelings shared and talked about; intellectual sharing, sharing of ideas, philosophies, values and moral beliefs. If a marriage is going to succeed then there needs to be a sharing in every part of life, by both parties.

True physical intimacy is not possible without having emotional and intellectual sharing. In order for the physical part of a relationship to truly blossom there needs to be a connection, a feeling of being totally secure and safe with your partner. Things will happen within the course of any physical relationship that have the potential to be embarrassing and the couple needs to know that these incidents will never see the light of day, they are safe within the boundaries of the bedroom.

We learn to trust each other by doing it, trusting. We start in the dating or courting phase by exchanging little trusts; when these trusts are respected, not revealed or ridiculed we then move on to more intense and emotional trusts. When our trust is held sacred we believe in our partner and their commitment to the relationship and most importantly to us.

So what does this trust building have to do with sharing? Well, we only know each other by the things we share, whether we share deliberately or by inference, verbally or physically and directly or subtly. Sharing is important to the health of the marriage because it denotes the amount of trust we have for each other.

So in order for our relationships to flourish we need to share our thoughts, feelings, our hurts, our desires, our dreams, fears, hopes and needs. We share in this emotional sphere as direct result of our sharing in the mundane everyday activities of marriage. Household chores, money management and child rearing are important areas in a marriage where sharing is necessary. Calvin Trillin understood this when he stated: "Marriage is not merely sharing the fettuccini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettuccini restaurant in the first place. " When we share in all aspects of our life the relationship prospers and becomes much more intimate, emotionally and physically.

So as we learn to love and understand and share with one another have some fun, cry a little, laugh and dream together about what our marriage can be.

Dallas Munkholm
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course.

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine