The Path to Marital Bliss

Happily ever after sometimes seems like a fairy tale, but having a happy marriage is quite possible. When we get married we believe that we will be happy. Then life happens, things get in the way, priorities change as life situations and stages change; kids, jobs, school, and life events, all take a toll on our commitment to be happy. We want to be happy but it seems that we just keep putting off whatever it is that we need to do to be happy.

A marriage is not like a fine wine that get gets better with age and time, a marriage is like a great piece of art, it requires love, patience, creativity and skill to create it and time and effort to keep it sharp and vibrant. It becomes a life’s work and glory. The state of your relationship with your spouse says more about the kind of person you are than your career or the kind of car you drive. And yet people often worry more about their careers or cars, than they do about the state of their marriage, their spouse’s happiness and fulfillment and the happiness that they want. Dave Meurer put it this way, “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”

If you really want to be happy then you need to make happiness a priority in your life. You need to do some searching into what it is that makes you and your spouse happy. Ask questions of yourself and your partner. What are your hopes and dreams? What do they want life to be about? What makes you feel loved and appreciated? How can you help your partner feel loved and appreciated? These and other questions will help you determine find that path to inner peace and happiness that comes from a happy and successful marriage.

A wise woman once told me that a person can tell where and how much her husband values her by how much time and effort he spends to be with her. A hero is not the one who does the great and stupendous things; he is the one that does the little things day in and day out. Some of these things could be changing diapers, making meals, taking care of the house, supporting each other in outside endeavors, caring and showing it or whatever it is that makes your spouse feel like your lover.

Each day in counseling we see couples falling apart, couples in pain and couples who don’t understand what went wrong. “I love her to death; I would do anything for her. Where did I go wrong?” These are things we hear on a regular basis. Consider this: how can you say you love someone and then sit and ignore them, watching a football game or reading the paper or going out with your girl friends when he needs your comfort and care? Your actions speak louder than your words ever will. One of the things we teach about communications is to be congruent, make sure that your actions, your tone, your body language are saying what your lips are saying.

Love one another as if you only had a few months left. Put your heart into your relationship, cherish each other, support and care for each other; this is what life and love is about. There is wisdom in the words of Andre Maurois, “A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.”

Dallas Munkholm
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course.

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine