If You Love Them: Say It And Do It

If you love them, tell them. Perhaps you say, but I grew up in a family where, “I love you” was not expressed. It may feel awkward to say I love you. You may tend to use this as a convenient excuse for remaining silent. However, it is possible to choose to say it, even if it was not something that you heard as a child. You can be the one to establish a new pattern for your self. Open your mouth and tell the people that you love, that you love them. You will be pleasantly surprised that the awkwardness will fade with practice.

You also have to do more than say you love your partner or your family. You must show it. Your words, your actions and even your thoughts need to be loving. If we say I love you and then treat others disrespectfully or uncaringly, the “I love you” has a hollow ring. Saying I love you becomes meaningless if it is not backed up with loving words and actions.

It is the little thoughtful things that we say, do and think on a consistent basis that make our relationships strong and lasting. There is never a good reason for treating strangers better than we treat each other. Courtesy and respect are essential.

It is easy to behave lovingly, when you feeling loving. The challenge comes when you do not feel particularly loving. It takes self-discipline to be courteous and respectful when we are cranky, frustrated or upset. Behaving like adults and talking things out early, before we lose our cool can help to keep tempers in check.

If we slip, an apology is in order. Remember that hateful things done or spoken in anger are forever burned into the other persons mind. Apologies are great, but it is better to hold on to yourself in the first place and choose to show love rather than something less.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine