Sharing Increases Intimacy

“The big thing in life is to share. Everything. Responsibilities as well as good things…I mean sharing what you have to offer. Making it count. Because everybody has some of that, you know.” Mona Beckner, 102 years old

In relationships it doesn’t work if one or both of the couple is holding back, waiting to see if it is safe or whatever reason they give. Sharing is so important because of several things, the first being that sharing implies we trust each other. Without trust a relationship is doomed to be troubled and hard. Trusting one another is the quickest way to create intimacy.

When we share the important things in our lives, the little things, the happy and the sad things we are in essence saying you are the one I have chosen to spend my life, all of it, with. There is no way to create this intimate relationship without the sharing and trust without reservation.

This alone can be compromised when we feel hurt, angry or sad because of something our partner has said or done. When our feelings are hurt it is a common, perhaps natural, thing to withdraw somewhat, withhold our love. Many people when they are hurt or upset just shut down; don’t talk or respond deepening the rift.

When we share with our partners our love, our confidence, our desires to be together we do create the intimacy we desire. The facts of relationship dynamics are these; when first together the relationship is driven by excitement and often by lust, strong emotions which cannot be sustained 100% of the time, it is just too exhausting. In longer, more mature relationships loving feelings follow loving actions.

There we have the answer to how to keep the trust created by sharing fresh and sweet, perform loving acts to foster loving feelings. Our love for our partner has to be completely unconditional, never withheld, no matter how upset or hurt we are. We love each other no matter what happens in the relationship or how hurt or angry we are with each other.

So how can we do that? Develop a heart of peace. Be assured about our own self; deal with our insecurities and issues. Know that no matter what happens in our lives or our relationship we are ok. We then are safe to give our partner love no matter what.

“Peace starts it al—peace within—and that peace is merely a choice away. And choice changes everything.” Arbinger Institute. 

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.

Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine