Feel The Fear And Get On With Life

Elbert Hubbard said, “The greatest mistake you can make in life is continually to be fearing you will make one.”

Fear of failing in a relationship can lead to exactly that. Fear is the opposite of hope. When we have hope, we are expecting and looking for good things to happen. When we live in fear, we are expecting and looking for bad things to happen.

Fears are as varied as the people who have them. For some it is the fear of what others may think; for others it may be the fear of intimacy, or being hurt, or being rejected or being alone. Whatever fears you have, it is important first to acknowledge and validate your feeling. And it is doubly important not to get stuck in them.

There is no point in worrying about things that we cannot control. Accepting what is, allows us to move forward. There is also little point in worrying about things that we can control. For things that we can control we need to make a choice, either we do something about it or we don’t. Worrying does not help.

So let’s take a deep breath, acknowledge our fears and move forward choosing to hope for good, rather than expecting bad.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine