Do You LIke Who You See In The Mirror

Do You Like Who You See In The Mirror?

Are you self-rejecting or self-accepting? When you see your reflection in the mirror, do you smile acceptingly or do you flinch and groan internally? Some people fear that liking their image in the mirror will mean that they are vain or conceited. Others reject themselves because they are measuring themselves against the fictitious standards of beauty photoshop has created. Still others reject themselves because their lives have not turned out the way they hoped they would.

You can tell the difference between self-acceptance and vanity by observing your attitude toward others.  Self-acceptance does not lead you to put anyone else down in order to feel good about yourself, where vanity leads to pointing out others weaknesses in order to feel superior. Vanity and conceit are bluster to make up for and hide personal doubts.

Photoshop can be used to make skin flawless, remove imperfections, add or reduce curves. But in the end it seems that we are manufacturing beauty rather than enjoying it. Anyone who accepts and loves them self and enjoys life, radiates beauty to the world. 

You do not have to be perfect to be acceptable. You are enough. It is all too human to make mistakes, but remember you are not your mistakes. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes and to grow as a person.

We all have positives and negatives about ourselves. Focusing on our weaknesses makes us feel small and insignificant. Focusing on our strengths helps us to feel competent and fuller. It is important to recognize our weaknesses, so that we can learn from them.

Do you have compassion for yourself? Too frequently people have great compassion for others, for family, friends, or causes, but lack that same attitude when it comes to how they view themselves. How do you talk to yourself? Are you harsh and critical, or are you kind and encouraging?

One of the greatest predictors of our ability to genuinely love others is our ability to love and accept our self. When we are harsh and critical of ourselves, that attitude will sooner or later come out toward others. Improving our relationships with others begins deep inside our self. Learning to like who we are and to accept the image in the mirror, makes it possible for us to accept others as they are. 

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course  

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine