We are all equal

“The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent and it must be equal.” Frank Pittman

Having recently attended a conference on counseling, I came away with a renewed sense that equality is really the essence of any relationship. This was brought to my attention in a seminar regarding personality. In a group session working with both introverts and extroverts, amazing insights and understandings were available when both parties felt valued and appreciated.

When each group member, whether they have a preference to intro/extroversion, gave attention and respect to the others a great dialogue was opened and the discussion was successful. When we feel that we are treated as an equal, when our views and thoughts are give equal credence, when we are given the respect that we deserve as human beings defensiveness and anxiety disappear.

This ideal of equality applies to all aspects of our lives, in our marriages, our families, our social groups and our working environments. We all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect just because we are alive. We are born as beings beyond worth and there is nothing we can do in life that changes that. Granted we all make mistakes, make foolish choices or do things that we regret later; but these have no impact on our worth.

But nowhere in life does this idea of being beyond worth have more impact than in a marriage relationship. Because of the closeness of life within marriage bonds partners will often pick up on the tiniest nuances and take it personally. We need to be continuously on guard for the little things that our partner may feel as an attack on them personally. Be sure that our actions and thoughts demonstrate our love and acceptance of each other. Treat each other and ourselves as if we are priceless. Total acceptance and strict adherence to treating each other as equals is the secret to happiness and successful marriage.

“It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine