At Christmas Give Your All

At this Christmas season we should give ourselves a present. We give money to the guys in Santa suits ring the bells in the mall, we give small secret Santa gifts at the office and most of us have our favorite charities we give too over the Christmas season. Our kids usually get spoiled rotten, even after we say they can’t have this or that. Parents, friends and family all get their little love gift from us and most of all; our partners get gifts from us.

We give out money, cards, gifts and love. By the time Christmas day rolls around we are so worn out and exhausted we can’t find anything else to give and we don’t have the energy to do it. Most of us have a list and we check it twice so that we don’t forget uncle John or great-aunt Edna. The paper-boy, the secretary, the teachers and the mailman all want their piece of us.

The TV is filled with advertisements showing big-eyed, starving children or under privileged families living on nothing and expecting us to help some more. This is all well and good but it can leave us tired, bewildered and cranky. So take some time out for you, and some time for your relationship.

What is it that makes you happy? Is there something you would like just for yourself, a massage, a nap or a long leisurely soak? What about for your partner and your relationship? You know it is not a selfish gesture to take some thing for yourself; in fact it is a smart thing to do. The more you feel relaxed, refreshed and rejuvenated the better others will feel around you.

The biggest piece of advice I can give you for your relationship is take some time together. Make plans for an intimate evening over the holidays, a quiet lunch or coffee. At all times just be there for each other, to listen, to commiserate, to validate. Be ready at times to put your plans on the back burner for the moment and just be with your partner. Thomas S Monson has said; “He who gives money, gives much; he who gives time, gives more, but he who gives of himself gives all.”

Be prepared to give your all this season to help make your partner feel cherished and loved.

Dallas Munkholm, B.A., B.Com., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine