Why You Need A Spine

Having a spine means respecting and honoring yourself. When you have a spine you know what you stand for, or what values are important to you and you don’t compromise your values or give up your self in order to please or pacify others.

You need to develop a spine, because no one else can do it for you. Others may at times stand up for you, but that doesn’t give you a spine. This is an inside job.

Developing a spine allows you to guard your integrity and integrity is a major component of self-esteem. If your opinion or behavior changes as your surroundings change you will be left with little or no sense of self. It takes confidence to state your opinion and stand up for yourself. Confident, assertive people generally have high self-esteem. However, behaving like you are confident and assertive can boost your self-esteem.

Don’t confuse standing up for yourself with being aggressive and mistreating others. It is important to be courteous to others as you stand on your own two feet.

Take a stand based on principle not preference. When you respect yourself you also respect others. People are entitled to have their own thoughts, opinions, beliefs and values. Just because someone does not agree with you does not make him or her wrong. They are just different. Learn to accept and enjoy the differences.

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course

Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples

Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine